Hello, my love. I wanted to dedicate a special little section of my webpage to you. I feel like you deserve at least that much, if not more. Definitely more.
I can sincerely say that I love everything about you. I could listen to you talk for hours, even if it's just about the intricacies of Thom Yorke's music composition or you explaining Sonic lore to me. I couldn't ask for a better person to spend my life with.
There's nothing you could ever do that would drive me away from you. You've seen every part of me, and still, you stay. I don't know what I did to deserve love like this. I'm just so glad that I've found it in you.
I would cuddle next to you for hours if I could; your heartbeat is the most comforting sound I've ever heard. It reminds me that you're really here, that all of this is real. Sometimes you're the only thing that keeps me grounded in reality.
I have so much to look forward to with you. I can't wait for tbe day when I'm able to live by your side, when I'm able to see you every day and watch our dumbass Youtube videos every night before we sleep. I look forward to our matching tattoos, even though the idea of getting one makes me nervous. I look forward to sharing a space with you, listening to you work on your music and being intrigued by the things you come up with.
You're all I want and everything that is meaningful to me. I can't imagine being with anyone else and I've never been happier being with someone; you actually make me want to take care of myself and do better. I feel so lucky to have someone like you, regardless of how you perceive yourself.
You feel like home to me. I love you more than you'll ever know.
1/28/23
You made me realize just how much I don't want to die. I've always viewed death as an escape from how I'm feeling, as a way to run from all the problems that I have irl. But... I really don't need an escape now. With you I feel like I'm strong enough to face how I feel and make a future for myself; a future with you. I'm so happy that I have you around. I sincerely feel like without you I would still be feeling the same shitty way that I did before.
You're sitting next to me on my bed watching Youtube right now. I'm happy and comfortable just being next to you. It's easier for me to write when you're near me, actually. I usually fear being judged for the things that I make and the shit that I write, but you make me feel like I can open up to you. I've never felt this safe with someone before. Thank you for coming down to see me. It means more than you know.
4/5/23
I guess my ADHD took over because I hardcore neglected this; I'm sorry! You know all about my habit of starting things and never finishing them. Very unfortunate. Anyways, I did have something that I was thinking about recently...
I've grown to be very happy being in a relationship with you. You're the first person that I've ever felt like I can trust wholeheartedly. I had that whole retard episode where I freaked out about some random girl you haven't spoken to in months but I realized it was my own immaturity. When I really stop and think about it... I don't think you would ever hurt me that way. I never feel like I have to worry about you cheating on me or talking to some other girl. I brought you around my friends solely because I was comfortable with doing that. I never brought my ex around any of my friends, mostly because I knew my friends would hate him and also because I was scared that he would grow attached to one of them. It takes a lot for me to bring a romantic partner around my friends. As much as I talk shit about my parents, I want you to meet them too. I know they would love you, my mom especially. Their only concern is that I have someone who loves and takes care of me, and you do more than enough of that.
I know it's only been a few months, but I'm really confident that I want to marry you. Even though I sound like I'm joking when I say "get married!!" I mean it every time. I can't imagine spending my life with anyone else. I don't even know what I would do if something happened to you. I've grown too attached to you over this short period of time. I just wanna hold you close and kiss you. The only time I'm truly happy anymore is when I'm cuddling next to you. You make me feel like I'm worth something; like I'm worth more than just my body. I feel so safe with you, it's actually crazy to me. I love you so much.
5/15/23
You're turning 20 in a few weeks. It's really hard for me to believe that I'm the slightly older one when you've displayed way more maturity than me. Maybe it's because of my upbringing. I had to act like an adult from such a young age that I ended up regressing a bit when I actually became an adult. I love you. I feel safe enough around you to be myself. I can act the way that I want to and feel totally comfortable. I do something stupid and you give me that bewildered look and you laugh a bit. You don't make me feel like I'm stupid for being myself.
I love your smile. You were looking at me off and on during the movie last night and I was so happy just seeing how happy you were. Whenever I feel sad you're the only person that makes me feel better. I think I cling to you so much for that reason. I'm terrified of losing you to anyone else, that's why I can't stand it when I know you still talk to certain girls, even if it's just once a month or so. I trust you wholeheartedly but I'm so scared of you finding someone better than me. I've never been treated this well by someone before and I hardly know how to process it. When someone treats you like a person when you've felt like you're not human your entire life, it changes your world. You make me feel like I'm worth something; like I truly matter to you. I've never felt like I mattered to anyone.
I thought a lot about our future today. I don't have any doubt in my mind at all; you're 100% the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. I know it hasn't even been half a year yet, but it feels like forever to me. All I can think about sometimes is how much I want you to hold me in your arms, how much I want to rest my head on your chest and fall asleep. Sorry, I'm tearing up now. I love you so much.
6/21/23
I'm really glad you defended me last night. I was so happy I cried, actually. I'm not used to being treated like I'm so special and worthy of being kept safe. I've never had a significant other defend me from someone before. I'm so used to having to take care of the situation myself and stick up for myself, but I'm glad I won't have to rely on myself all of the time anymore. You know I would do the same for you, right? I promise.
I wanna hug you so bad. I wish you knew exactly how much you mean to me. I'm so happy that you love me enough to stick up for me when people are being mean. God, I don't even know what to say. I just love you.